Prologue
At age 42, Billy Bob Globby Gloop knew that he had a bad name. All his life, people had snickered whenever they saw him, and every time he had went to the grocery store to buy some vegetables, he'd had to tell the clerk his name, and every time they laughed, and it wasn’t a kind one mind you, a mean, condescending laugh. Billy Bob Globby Gloop was fed up with it! So he decided to fix it, but he didn’t know how to. How do you change your name? He thought, and he thought, and he thought just a bit more, and after all that thinking, he had the perfect idea! He would go to the World Wide Web and search up how to change his name. He really liked this idea, so much in fact, that a few seconds after coming up with it, he went to his house and got his travel pack. After that, he went out to his car, an AMC Gremlin, and started the engine—or well, turned the key—it wouldn’t work. Billy Bob Globby Gloop groaned, were the gremlins in his Gremlin again? He stood up to kick them out, but he didn’t want them to bite his fingers like last time, so he sat and waited for them to go away. After a few hours of sitting there, Billy Bob Globby Gloop got mad. Why weren’t they going! He got out of the car, and opened the car trunk, and saw something unusual, there were no gremlins! At a second look, he saw a large hole, with smooth edges, as if burned by acid. He blinked, then gasped, and smelled the hole. Could it be? The gremlins had peed in his car!